Flashback to an Alternate Universe
by white-lies-don't-hurt
Summary: Lucas is suffering from the effect's of nearly loosing his new bride. He can't seam to be able to stop thinking about 'What If..' Set after season 6 episode 23 but before the end of episode 24 Leyton,Naley, Hints of Brulian
1. Chapter 1

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first Fan fiction so let me know what you think and if it's worth continuing! Thanks :***

"Hey Peyton" Lucas said walking through the kitchen door. He smiling greatly at the surprise he had for his new wife.

"or Mrs Scott " He said, he loved the way that sounded. He walked over to their bedroom to see drops of blood on the white petals he had, had scattered there earlier for their wedding night.

He saw a pool of blood surrounding her body.

"Peyton!" He shouted as he stood staring at her from the doorway for a few seconds.

"Oh God" He said as he darted down to her

"Oh my" he said barely audible, he started lifting her head into his arms. He started rocking her back and forth.

"Stay with me" He said as he cradled her in his arms

"PEYTON" he screamed

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Lucas Scott was sitting in his front room staring at a blank page on his Laptop. His editor, Mark, had been at him to write a new novel. Lucas had,had no inspiration for a while now, but if he was being totally honest he hadn't had any in over four years. His hand scratched his rough beard,it was more than his usual stubble, it looked like he hadn't shaved in months. He closed his blue eyes but that was worse as all he saw was her face. Just then a little blonde girl appeared at the door.

"Daddy" she said with such innocence, her green eyes looking at him. He felt such a pain in his heart. She was her mother's daughter. She had the green eyes and the corkscrew curly blonde hair. The only thing she had got from him was his infamous squint.

"Yes Anna, what is it." He said bluntly, he didn't want to be near her right now. It was too much for his heart to bare. But the little girl persisted.

"Well, dad today at kindergarten, we where making Mother's day cards." She said, this statement alone broke his heart even more.

"And the teacher asked me why i wasn't making one and i said 'I didn't have a mommy' to which she said 'Everyone has one' but I don't so i was wondering ... Where is my mom?" She said so honestly.

He looked at her, her face was confused, she needed an answer. Lucas knew this day would come. He just thought it would be later. He looked into his daughter's face, looked at it and thought of all the hurt she had caused him.

"Come here" he said patting on the spot beside him on the couch. She walked over cautiously as she was slightly worried about her dad. He had always been distant with her even when she was a baby. She sat down beside him and looked up at him.

"Well, you know your Grandma Anna and Granny Elizabeth?" He said as she nodded, "Well, they are in heaven because you see they died." Anna knew this as she knew she was named after both of these grandmother's. "Well, your mom died too." He said so bluntly. He stood up as it was hard for him to say those words out loud.

"But know this, Anna Elizabeth Peyton Scott, your mom loves you." He said choking up slightly as he stared out the window. He didn't want to see her face the face that reminded him of her. Anna's face was so confused, she had just accepted that everyone had no mom and when she knew that wasn't true she just assumed she never had one.

"How?" she asked. Lucas was slightly shocked, his little four-year old was wise beyond her years, but he couldn't tell her why. So he just kept silent.

"Was it like Grandma? Was there something wrong with her body? Did she die in a car? How dad?" She kept asking him and the more she asked the more he got annoyed. He didn't want to talk about it.

"Dad, please, how did mom die?"

"Because of you." he said quietly but bluntly. The little girl was shocked and even more confused

"What?"

"Your mom is dead, because of you." He said louder for her to hear. He turned to face her and saw in those eyes her whole world and heart was breaking.

"Your mom died, when she was pregnant with you." Lucas said with almost disgust in his voice.

"You are the reason why you don't have a mother, why I don't have a wife, Why I'm so GOD DAMN miserable all the time." He said getting louder as he spoke. He looked into her green eyes, the same colour of the ones that used to make him smile.

"It's all your fault."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas suddenly woke. He jolted upright in his bed. He was panting and was in a cold sweat. He breathed erratically at first but started to calm down. He couldn't believe what he had just been dreaming about. He started to panic that it was true but he looked to his left hand-side to see his beautiful wife sleeping soundly beside him. Her brown-blonde hair scattered across the pillow. He blew a sigh of relief. He got out of bed and walked into the hall down to Sawyer's room to check she was sleeping. He looked over to the cot to see his beautiful 18 week old baby sleeping. He stood in the hall for a while wondering whether or not to go back to bed. Instead he headed and sat down in the living room.

Lucas closed his eyes and flashbacks from his dream haunted his mind. He couldn't believe he was so hurtful to such a small girl, his 'daughter'. He felt a pair or arms wrap around his neck.

"Hey baby" was all she said but it was enough to make him get goosebumps. He turned and smiled at her.

"Sorry did i wake you? The doctor said you should be resting." Lucas said as he looked at Peyton's face but she just shook her head with a smile.

"Luke, honey, i wake up every time you leave the bed, you think i can't tell when my man leaves?! Your warmth leaves and the bed feel... empty. So yes you did wake me." She said smiling. Lucas let out a little chuckle. He should of known, he wakes up when she leaves the bed too. Lucas started to drift off back to the thoughts of his dream.

"Luke, Lucas" She said snapping him back.

"What's wrong?" she asked

"Nothing" he said looking into her eyes.

"I don't buy it, Luke this is the third time in two weeks you've been up in the night and probably the seventh in the last six weeks. What's bothering you?"

Lucas didn't know, and he wasn't going to let Peyton know about it, she needed a stress free living enviroment for the next few weeks according to her doctor.

"It's nothing really, I'm ... I'm just having a bit of writers block so it's keeping me up." Peyton nodded and took Lucas' hand.

"Come back to bed, things always seem better in the morning." She said as they walked back to bed, Lucas hoping that his dreams would stop.


	2. Chapter 2

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 2

**Author's note: Hey. Thanks for the comment's glad you like it. This chapter is slightly different to the last but it helps add to the future of the story!**

Lucas stirred from his sleep as he felt Peyton dart out of bed. He opened his eyes slowly as he got used to the light. He saw Peyton running around their bedroom, throwing on a pair of jeans and an loose top.

"Peyton?" He said as he looked at her worried, she jumped at his voice.

"God Lucas, you scared me!"

"Is everything okay? Your ment to be taking it easy." Peyton gave him the 'look' that said "I'm fine".

"Well, no. Mia just called and some woman from the record company is in the office demanding to see me. Something about my lack of going in and no new artist. Where are my shoes?!" Peyton said as she was looking under the bed for her black boots.

Lucas got out of bed and lifted her shoes from the chair in the corner and handed them to her.

"Thanks" She said putting them over her feet

"But Peyt, you were pregnant, you nearly died! Your boss can't expect you to look after a record label as well, plus you should be resting." He said rubbing his hands up and down her arms.

"Well she can, look Lucas i'll be back in an hour two tops then i'll lie down for the rest of the day, i promise. Plus you get to spend time with Sawyer!" She said shifting her body closer to his.

"Umm.. okay" He said more reluctantly than he would have done but she looked so cute and smelled so good. He place a kiss on her lips just as Sawyer started crying causing Peyton to laugh.

"I'll see you later, bye Sawyer." She said as she went out the Kitchen door grabbing the Comet's car keys as she went. Lucas couldn't wipe the grin of his face when Sawyer started wailing again

"Okay Sawyer I'm coming." He said as he turned to enter her room

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas was laying on the couch balancing Sawyer's feet on his stomach. "Who's a pretty baby?" and "You're my baby girl." Lucas kept cooing at her. He had Peyton's I-Pod on shuffle when 'Friday I'm in Love' by The Cure came on 'causing Sawyer to start smiling.

"Oh you like that one do you?!" Lucas said standing up holding her in his arms. He started swaying with her to the music. Sawyer kept smiling. Lucas kept dancing to the song as the front door bell rung.

"Who's at the door baby girl, who's at the door?!" Lucas said to Sawyer. He loved being a dad, he had learned from the best. He opened the door still slightly dancing with his daughter to see Brooke standing there looking at him oddly.

"Staying in all day with the baby, driving you a bit mad eh, Luke?" She said laughing as Lucas gestured her in. Lucas laughed as the song came to an end.

"Not at all, just enjoying the day with my girl."

"Okay, whatever you say, so where is Peyton, i need her advice." Brooke said as she tickled Sawyer's feet. As they walked to the kitchen

"Well she had to go into work today, her boss is in town but she will be back soon enough so stay, is it anything I can help with?" Lucas asked as he placed Sawyer in her high chair, reaching for a bottle from the fridge and sticking it in the microwave.

Brooke thought about telling Lucas about her dilemma with Julian but didn't feel comfortable bringing up a possible future relationship with the boy who made her so cautious about loving anyone again.

"No, it's just girl stuff, really." she said

"Do you want anything?" Lucas said hoping she would say no, he was too tired to make anything. Brooke shook her head as they sat down around the table. Lucas started feeding Sawyer and when she was finished, he lifted her up and to but her in her cot for her afternoon nap. As he was tucking her in Brooke came up behind him. Giving her, her favourite stuffed animal, a small purple monkey, given to her curtsy of Brooke.

"See she is a Brooke! Isn't that right! I'm going to call you Brooke." She said to Sawyer causing Lucas to laugh.

They then started walking back to the kitchen. they sat back down at the table and Brooke looked at Lucas and could see how tired he was.

"Is it everything you thought it would be, marriage and a kid?" Brooke asked, similar to what he had asked her when she had Angie.

"It's the best, I mean it is hard but i wouldn't change a thing. Not the marriage part, Peyton and I are great it's the other Scott girl, which is hard!" Lucas said, but as he looked into Brooke's eyes where he saw sadness.

"What's wrong Brooke?" She was shocked but glad that someone had realise she wasn't right, and her eyes started to water.

"Hey, don't cry i already have one crying girl in my house i don't need two!" he said laughing

"Sorry it's just so much changed so quickly, i mean Sam left then you guys got married and had Sawyer. Peyton nearly died and Nathan is in the NBA, i just feel so stationary while you guys go full speed ahead with your lives."

"Brooke Davis! You own a major fashion line and who are one of the most caring people i know. I mean you took in a baby you knew you would have to give back, and you took in a teenage tear away. You have done so much with your life already, i think we are all catching up with you." Lucas said pulling Brooke in for a hug.

"I used to say 'Brooke Davis is gonna change the world some day ' Now i can say Brooke Davis has changed the world, and i'm not sure she even knows it." He said looking into her eyes.

"You're going to be fine, you'll find what I have with Peyton and what Nathan and Haley have. You need to find the right person to do it with." Lucas said as he left to go check on Sawyer, Brooke smiled. She felt happy, and she knew who she wanted now more than before, she wanted Julian. But was she ready to let her guard down again?

**Author's note: What do you think let me know :) I hope i made Brucas' friendship okay XD**


	3. Chapter 3

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 3

Lucas walked through the front door, to hear his wife humming in the kitchen. He laughed as he looked over to the coffee table to see more drawings scattered across it.

"Luke, is that you?" She said walking to into the kitchen. Lucas hid behind the bookcase, wanting to jump out and scare her.

"Luke?" She said looking around the room. He jumped out and wrapped his arms around her waist, causing her to scream.

"Lucas! Get off me so i can kiss you!" She said spinning around crashing her lips onto his. He looked into her eyes and smiled.

"How was your day?" he asked ash she walked back the kitchen, her brown hair flowing behind her.

"Well Millicent, got in a new model, and Bitchtoria is still annoyed at me coming down here. But i don't care i have the best Husband now." Brooke said beaming at him "Oh, and Peyton called, she's coming home for a few days from LA so she will be round for dinner tonight."

Lucas smiled, her didn't know Peyton well, she was Brooke's friend from childhood, he had only heard stories. She moved to LA when she was 12 and never came back.

"Good, it will be nice to meet her. " Lucas said as he sat down and started playing with his phone. He looked up to Brooke "I love you, Brooke Scott, you know that?"

"Thanks, I love you too baby." She said as she started peeling some carrots.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The doorbell rung breaking the silence of the house.

"Luke, that's Peyton, will you get it please? I'll be out soon." Lucas smiled as he opened the door. Stood in front of him was this tall, petit woman with flowing blonde curly locks. Lucas was speechless she was breathtaking. She wore a simple green dress over some black skinny jeans, with little white pumps.

"Lucas? I'm Peyton, it's nice to meet you." she said out-streatching her hand. Lucas was frozen, transfixed by this person in front of her.

"Oh, yeah, Hi. You too." He said taking her hand. He felt something, something he had felt it when he first met Brooke, but it felt stronger with Peyton.

"Come in" he said pulling her in to his home, not wanting to let go. Brooke appeared from the bedroom

"P. Sawyer!" She squealed running over to her friend. Lucas released Peyton's hand.

"B. Davis! or should i say B. Scott?!" Peyton said hugging her friend. "Your house is lovely and the food smells great!" She said. As the girls chatted, Lucas was mesmerised by the blonde standing in his living room. All he wanted was to kiss her, he knew it was wrong. He loved Brooke but Peyton was something else.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Brooke that was wonderful, you finally learned how to cook." Peyton said laughing, "We used to make cakes as kids and Brooke got so angry that hers always burnt that she screamed ran outside and made mud pie's and tried to make our parents eat them!" Peyton said to Lucas.

"Shut up Peyton! I could tell a thing or too about you too." Brooke said smiling. The girls where catching up, Lucas watched them both as he did the washing up. His eyes kept lingering on Peyton, even though he told himself it was wrong. Peyton had a smile on her face all night. A smile which made Lucas feel all jelly inside, something Brooke had never managed to do.

"So Lucas." Peyton said as Luke dried the dishes. " You've made an honest woman out of my Brookie, here." She said holding Brooke's hand "How ever did you get her to marry you?"

Lucas was shocked that she didn't know this story already but Peyton had missed the wedding due to her mom not being well and having to console her dad.

"Oh, it was so romantic wasn't it Luke?" Brooke said beaming. Lucas shy smiled as her went in to the details of his proposal.

"Well it was in December and i had, had the ring for about three weeks, i was waiting for the right moment to ask you see. Anyway I was going to go traditional and propose in arestaurant . But i remember the first time i saw Brooke. I was in New York trying to find a publisher for my book, i thought it would be a good impression handing it to them in person. I was wondering around the city trying to find Holiday and Co. Book publisher's when I noticed the prettiest girl i had ever seen." Until now Lucas thought to himself, Brooke's eyes where watering but Lucas looked into Peyton's as he told the story glancing at Brooke from time to time.

" She was walking out of Bloomingdale's carrying what looked like, a portfolio, when she fell over. I ran over to help her up and looked into her big beautiful eyes and something clicked inside me, suddenly everything seamed less scary. Anyway i planned this big trip to New York for some 'Christmas Shopping' and i was going to take Brooke to the spot where we first met and propose in the street covered in snow, which is what happened." Lucas said as he looked at Brooke, who was fighting back tears. He kissed her cheek and she smiled.

"That's so beautiful." Peyton says "You really deserve each other.". Brooke smiled, she glanced at the clock noticing the time.

"Shit." She says ruining the moment. "Sorry it's just i have a meeting with Bitchtoria at 7 tomorrow morning and its already half twelve. Sorry but i have to go to bed" Brooke says standing up.

"Now Peyton no excuses, the guest room is all set up, you are staying the night." Brooke said and then left the room without giving Peyton time to respond.

"Well that's Brooke!" Peyton said laughing, she turned her head too look around their house. Lucas didn't respond he just looked at her. He didn't realise he was doing it it was an instinctive thing. He started leaning in. Peyton hadn't realised and as she turned back to face Lucas his lips fuse with hers. She knew it was wrong. This was her Best friends husband but she didn't pull away, in fact she couldn't do much.

Lucas continued to kiss Peyton cupping her head in his hands, suddenly she felt cold, very cold. Lucas pulled away. Peyton looked motionless and pale. Lucas was horrified, he shook her but nothing happened. Blood was dripping onto to the floor as it had soaked through her clothes.

"No, No NO." Lucas shouted

"PEYTON, PEYTON PEYTON!" he screamed.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas sat bolt upright in bed, his mind racing he looked over to the doorway to see Peyton staring at him worriedly holding baby Sawyer in her arms.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

**Author's note: SORRY if this got Brucas' fans hopes up but this is a Leyton story. Plus Brucas in this story are just friends. But anyway. Hope you like this one and thanks for the comments :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 4

**Author's note: Hey :) Some of you are confused on the story so I'll explain now XD**

**Basically, everything that has happened in One Tree Hill (Series 1-6) the only things that haven't happened yet is Leyton leaving and Brooke getting with Julian**

**I felt that it was a bit odd how Lucas was fine after nearly loosing Peyton, I know maybe if they had stayed they would of explored it more.**

**So this is just what i feel fits. Lucas keeps having dreams about his life without Peyton would be like. He fear's he would resent his daughter for killing his wife. ( Also in dreams the name of their daughter is Anna Elizabeth Peyton Scott. Since it was Peyton's idea to call her Sawyer Brooke Scott.) **

**In the last chapter (Chapter 3) it was a dream about if Lucas hadn't met Peyton at all and had married Brooke instead. Hopefully that explains everything.**

** i wasn't planning on this chapter but i felt that the last one needed some explaining, so sorry if it is shorter than other's**

Lucas stared at the blank page of his laptop, still trying to find his inspiration. Though he wasn't really concentrating. He was trying to make sense of his dream. it wasn't like he still had feelings for Brooke. Peyton was his one and only. But he couldn't help but feel it was something else. Something unrelated to Brooke.

"Lucas, we need to talk." Peyton said appearing from the hall. "I'm worried, you've not been yourself lately and last night you yelled out my name in your sleep. Is something wrong?" Peyton asked, sitting down on Lucas's lap, staring into his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, i just had a bad dream that you weren't around anymore." Not a total lie but he didn't want to worry her to much.

"I'm staying right here." She reassured him kissing him lightly on the lips. Lucas felt the urge to deepen the kiss, he and Peyton hadn't had much alone time since they had, had Sawyer. But she was sleeping more solidly now and usually slept right through the night. She was in her afternoon nap so Lucas decided they had time.

He felt her response immediately. She needed him as much as he needed her. He run his hands through her hair as she wrapped her arms around her waist. She swiveled her legs around, straddling him on the couch. She broke the kiss to take off her Jumper to reveal and white, spaghetti strap top. Her lips crashed back onto his before making small kisses around his mouth. He moved his arms to around her waist, teasing the bottom of her top, he slowly stood up causing her to move her arms to his neck and to wrap her legs around him. He walked to the bedroom, planting kisses on his neck as he did. He entered the bedroom with her closing the door behind them with her foot.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas lay on the bed, Peyton was sleeping beside him. His mind kept lingering back to his dream. It had been different to ones before. Other's he had, had where about life without Peyton. This was the first where she was, alive. It troubled him to think that he could imagine life without her ever being in his life. He couldn't think like that.

He thought about it for the longest time when finally things started to make sense. Maybe he had thought of not knowing Peyton as then she never would of nearly died. She would have never gone through all the pain and suffering. Maybe if he had stayed with Brooke, Peyton would never of had to go through nearly dying. Lucas felt as though he had, had a Eureka moment. He dreamt of never knowing Peyton to save her, from pain. But then why had she died in the end?

"Because, i'm the reason she almost did." Lucas muttered to himself.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas served up dinner for Peyton, a simple lasagne.

"Mmm, this smells good." Peyton said sitting down beside Lucas. She took a fork full and popped it in her mouth.

"So i never asked you, what did your Boss say?" Lucas asked as he un-corked a bottle of wine.

"Oh, nothing really. She didn't understand what i had been through, though she was pissed that i hadn't done anything since having Sawyer. But i have an interest in this new artist and Mia has a gig in Honey-Grove, of all places!" Peyton said with a smile remembering their trip there in Senior year.

"And Hayley is recording again, so things are looking up." She smiled.

Lucas nodded and grinned at the mention of Honey-Grove. " We should go back sometime." He said pouring out the wine and starting his meal.

"That's great, for you and Haley." Lucas said. They fell into easy conversationand all Lucas could think about was, How he'd got so lucky.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

**Author's note: a bit of Leyton life and love for you. I know so far this story is lacking in Laley and Lucas/Nathan friendship but it is coming up, in future chapters. I'm really happy you like this story** **XD**


	5. Chapter 5

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 5

"Pass it, pass it, come on guys you know this" Lucas shouted as the Raven's trained. Peyton was at home with Sawyer for the day as the Ravens had a game coming up. "Attack the D, attack it!" he shouted. The team hadn't really been the same since Q died but they needed to get back into it.

"Uncle Lucas!" Jamie's voice game through the gym

"J-Luke." Lucas replied picking him up, Haley came in after him.

"Okay guys hit the showers, Be here tomorrow at 6.30 a.m. Skills needs to help your freethrows." He shouted putting Jamie down.

"Hey Hales, How's it going?" He said pulling her in for a hug.

"Good yeah, thanks so much for looking after Jamie for today. Nathan and I have to pack for our trip to Charlotte and Nathan has interviews, with a few agents." Haley said with a huge grin, she was so proud of her husband.

"Not a problem Haley,really i mean it will be good practise for later on." He said as Jamie ran over to throw a few baskets.

"Sure okay well one of us will pick him up abot 7.30 ish." Hayley said as she watch her son.

"We can keep him longer if you want." He said with a smirk as Jamie was trying to score free-throws. Haley slapped him on the shoulder.

"Well maybe.." She said grinning "I'll ring you." she said, as they turned to exit the gym "Come on Jamie." Haley calls. Jamie comes running over grabbing his momma's hand

.  
Haley still had some trust and protective issuse surrounding Jamie, but she was starting to let him go places again. Kamie was still quite scared by the who thing and always held his momma's hand when he could.

"Okay buddy, you're going to spend the day with Uncle Lucas, Aunt Peyton and Sawyer, while Daddy and I sort out our trip to Charlotte." Haley said pulling Jamie in for a hug

"Love you." She says to Jamie

"Love you too." Jamie replies before climbing into Lucas' car as Haley straped him into his car seat.

"Bye Luke and thanks." she said pulling him in for a hug

"Cya Hales." He replies getting in to his car.

"Okay Jamie, where do you want to go for breakfast? Any where you want!" Lucas said looking in the rear-view mirror at Jamie.

"Ermmm... Denny's!" Jamie says from the back. Lucas smiled as he starts the car

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Peyton was bouncing Sawyer on her knee, as Jamie and Lucas played a video game.

"Come on daddy, come on daddy." Peyton was saying, shaking Sawyers arms.

"No fair, who's cheering for me?!" Jamie asks as he slams a basket in the game

"Sorry James, Come on Jamie, who can beat Uncle Lucas! He's old anyway!" Peyton says with a smirk. Lucas looked at her with a hurt look on his face which turned to a smile.

"And game!" Jamie shouts making the wining shot

"Hey, I wasn't looking." Lucas says acting like a five year old.

"Boys, stop it or no ice-cream!" Peyton says in her mom voice. This causes Jamie to look at her

"There's ice-cream." Lucas askes cheakly.

"In the Kitchen." Peyton admits. Lucas chases Jamie to the kitchen. Peyton stands up holding Sawyer.

"Remember Sawyer, a way to a man is through his stomach." She says following after them.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Jamie was sleeping on the couch and Sawyer was down for the night as Peyton snuggled into Lucas who was reading a book. Lucas lay an arm across her side and kissed her head.

"You're going to write another book Lucas." She said. It didn't require a response. He was happy, happy that she believed in him.

"How is this new artist coming?" Lucas asked.

"Well, it's going good, they came in today to perform and we made an offer, we just have to wait and see." Peyton admitted, Lucas smiled.

He said when a knock at the door distracted him. He got up to answer it and it was Nathan who was on the other side of it.

"Hey, man come in." Lucas said. Peyton sat up on the couch making room for them both.

"Congradulations Nate." She said pulling him in for a hug.

"Thanks."

"So how was today get an agent?" Lucas asked as he noted the tine. It was just after half eight. He grinned to himself. Looks like Haley was too busy to call.

"Sort of we're getting closer they're are two at the moment. One is John Bruden, he seams really... Buisness like, and not a lot of character but he makes good, quick desicions. Then there is this guy Clay Evans, he's got more personality. He seams like the type of person i could get on well with. but he is not associated with a big company so he might not be able to make fast decisons." Nathan said honsestly. To be honsest, the past few days had been such a whorlwind that he was just happy for five minutes rest.

"How's he been?" He said indicating at Jamie.

"Good yeah, he crashed about thirty minutes ago." Lucas said.

"Well i best be getting him home," Nathan said going over to pick up his son. He was heading to the door ehn he turned around.

"Oh, yeah I'm planning a sort of Wedding anniversaire for Haley and me, i know throwing your own party but its a suprise for Haley. I just want to give something back to her." Nathan said to Lucas and Peyton.

"Oh Nate that's so sweet when?" Peyton said

"Well it's was a few months ago now but i feel i should do something so it will be next Friday or Saturday. What do you think is it a good idea?" Nathan asked

"It will be great Haley will love it, and we will do whatever you need to help you." Lucas said. He couldn't believe it was seven years already. He was really happy for them.

"Okay well , i'll tell you more soon. Thanks, night." Nathan said leaving the house closing the door behind him

.  
"Would you do that for me?" Peyton asked

"Yes i would every year." Lucas said kissing her on the forehead.

"But then it won't be suprise!" Peyton said. They both laughed as they walked back over to the couch.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

**Author's note; Yeah, again this chapter just adds the next one, but i hope you like it. XD thanks for the reviews and comments it makes me want to write more :) **

**Sorry i thought Haley's suprise for Nathan for their anniversary was season 7 so i had to change it, sorry if there was any confusion.**


	6. Chapter 6

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 6

Lucas walked into a large hall, it was filled with balloons and a large banner that read  
"Nathan and Haley 50th Wedding anniversary."

Lucas grumbled to himself and walked to find a seat on it's own. His thinning grey hair was sleeked down, which looked odd next to his bushy beard. More people entered the gym. Skills and some blonde woman, Mouth and Millie. Jamie entered carrying a small child followed by his wife. Brooke entered with Julian. They all took a seat, the saw Lucas but never went over to him, he was glad of that. He wasn't in the mood for small talk. A tall petit blonde girl walked over to him.

"Hey dad." She said hoping for a response. Lucas said nothing he just stared at the floor. She got annoyed.

"Look dad, you've been a pain the most of of my life, could for once you be happy for someone please?" She said as she walked back over to who Lucas assumed was her Husband and child. He didn't care. It was her fault anyway he was alone.

Just then Nathan and Haley entered to a loud applause. Lucas clapped, only out of respect but stopped shortly afterwords. Nathan and Haley took to the dance floor and danced to their wedding song, "More than Anyone."

People took video's and photo's. But Lucas didn't he sat in the corner. He looked around the room at how much people's life's had changed and evolved. Mouth, Brooke, Jamie and Sawyer where all married and had kids. Lucas sat alone in the corner. Sure he was married but it didn't last long. And being a father suited him as much as Dan suited being his father. Lucas couldn't breath properly. He felt that it should be him up there with Peyton, at THEIR wedding anniversary. But no, fait had intervened and squashed that before it had even begun.

Lucas made a quick exit as everyone was invited up to dance. He had shown his face, it was more than he had done for any another 'family' event. He left the hall and went for a walk. He didn't care where just far away from here.  
Lucas walked and walked, looking at the ground for most of the way. He didn't realise where he had walked to until he noticed a familiar tree. He had walked to Tree Hill cemetary. He noticed Keith's tombstone. Flowers in front of it where dead and rotting. He sighed, he hadn't been here in a good few years. It hurt to much. He wandered through the graveyard and came across Anna's grave. It looked old but looked after. Lucas had a weak smile. He took a few deep breaths and turned around to see Peyton's grave.

"Devoted Daughter, Loving Wife, Caring Mother" It read under her name. Some fresh looking flowers lay in front with the greeting card "To Mom, I love you, ALWAYS, Anna Elizabeth Peyton Scott". A tear came from Lucas' eye.

He cried. He cried so hard he went down to his knee's. He screamed. Screamed out all the anger and the pain.  
"I'm sorry." He said touching the gravestone.

"I guess I was that person eh Peyt. I took out my anger and depression on our daughter." Lucas said threw waves of tears. " I never thought i would, but i did, guess i am more like Dan than i thought." He said sniffling.

"We had a daughter Peyton. I called her Anna like you said. Would you of still chosen that name? Did i name her wrong Peyton? Would you of chosen a different one?" Lucas sobbed. This was the first time he had, had a 'conversation' with Peyton since before she died and it was only the second time he had been since the funeral. It was too hard. It made it too real, to go and visit.

"Why did you leave me Peyton! We could be here still together. All you had to do was end it. We could have adopted. Why where you so stubborn. Why did i let you go through with it? Peyton I need you here." Lucas sobbed

"It's your fault too Peyton. You where selfish. I love you and you decided to end your life by continuing on. Why would you do that to me? Did you not love me enough was that it Peyton?" Lucas said getting angrier.

"I love you, so much Peyton. That could have been us, on our Wedding anniversary. We could be happy together. You bailed this time Peyton. And there is no second chance." Lucas said standing up from the grave and walked down to the bridge.

Lucas kept his head down and kept walking till he got there. It was December and the water would be freezing. He'd be dead from the cold before drowning. He walked to the edge of the Bridge before sending a text to Anna.  
"I'm Sorry. I love you more than you know. It was just too hard, it's all too hard."

Lucas lifted one foot off the edge, let go of the railings and kicked off with the other foot, he was falling. He closed his eyes and whispered "I'm coming Peyton."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas bolted up right, he was already screaming. Peyton was standing over him looking scared.  
"Lucas.." She said, tears running down her face. Lucas ignored her. He was disconnected he was still screaming but it became more of an erratic breath. He didn't know what was happening to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 7

**Author's note: I'm so happy you guys like this! It really id nice to know it's being well received. Anyway updates may not be as regular from now on as i am now officially back at school :( But i will try my best to keep it fresh. I'm not too sure how many chapters are left of this story but this chapter is like the beginning of the end is you know what i mean! But don't worry still plenty to come. Love to you all and thanks for reading this far XD**

Lucas walked through the kitchen door carrying a bag of groceries.

"Peyton, I'm back.." He said to be met by silence. That was odd, she was meant to be home with Sawyer today.

"Peyt?" He called out

"I'm in the front room could you come here a minute." She called back.

Lucas put down the groceries and walked to the front room. He looked up to see Haley and Nathan standing behind the sofa with Brooke sitting beside Peyton, holding Sawyer with tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked concerned. "Peyton what's happened?" He was getting worried now.

"Luke, this is an intervention." Haley started "We are here because we love you and care about you." Lucas was confused what had he done.

"You've been acting wierd, and Peyton is worried and when she mentioned something was wrong I noticed things to." Nathan said. "These... these..dreams, you need to tell us about them."

Lucas froze, he couldn't tell them. Not yet he didn't understand them himself.

"Lucas remember when we where, six and i freaked out about having to have that blood test, to see if i had diabetes from my grandfather?" Haley said, Lucas nodded. "Remember what you said to me? You said 'It'll be fine Hales, you are strong and fierce. You'll come out fighting and once this is all over an that we find out everything is okay we are going to eat until we explode!". You made me feel so much stronger, braver and that it would be okay. Now let me be strong for you, tell me whats wrong." Haley said stopping tears from rolling from her eyes. Lucas' eyes welled up but still he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He took a seat, holding his head in his hands.

"Lucas?" Haley said, "Please, just tell us." She begged but still Lucas stayed quiet.

"Luke, you helped me through a lot of stuff. A lot of dark stuff, i'm not proud of it or what i did, but you helped. It was hard asking and getting help at the time but it's okay to ask for it." Nathan said. "You helped me in High school, with Haley, Daunté, Dan, and after my accident, let me, us help you now." Nathan said. Nathan didn't really know how bad Lucas was but after the things Peyton had said to them he knew it wasn't like his brother at all, he wanted to help, he felt he owed it to him.

An uncomfortable silence descended on to Scott's living room. Sawyer wasn't making a sound, it was as if she could sense the tension in the room. Instead she snuggled into her mother. Peyton continued to rock her back and forth in her lap.

"It's okay to be vulnerable." Brooke said after the long silence. "I know it's hard and difficult to let people see that but it is okay." Lucas looked at the ground, he couldn't look at them.

"Lucas remember when you told me about your HCM?" Brooke said, she didn't want to bring up something from when they where dating but she felt he needed to hear this.

"Remember, you where sitting at River-Court, I had heard through school and Haley that it might be true. I couldn't imagine you handling it on your own especially after what had happened... with Keith." Brooke said. "You where so scared and vulnerable. All i wanted to do was help and take you away from the pain. I'd never seen someone so vulnerable, you where so.. raw. You let it out, it was too much. Luke you have to let it out, it'll eat you alive otherwise." Brooke said wiping tears from her cheeks. "Please."

Lucas was nearly crying, he didn't realise he was hurting the people around him as much as he obviously was. He looked at Peyton. She kissed Sawyer in her head before handing her to Brooke and standing up and walking to Lucas. She crouched down in front of him. She whispered to him, "Lucas... Please.". This set Lucas off crying as she stood up.

"I need you Lucas, don't shut me out. Sawyer needs you. I know if i had something bothering me i wouldn't want to worry you either but you need to. I need to know what is wrong with you. I want to know. I can't live with you keeping me at a distance. Sawyer can't live with a father that is always shut off. Please just tell us... me" Peyton said crying. Lucas broke down.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know what is wrong. I can't explain it." Lucas said pulling Peyton in for a hug. The tension in the room had left as Lucas broke out in tears in Peyton's shoulder. Nathan held Haley as she silently sobbed. Brooke held on to Sawyer as if she might break.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." Lucas kept repeating.


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors note; Hey guys :) Here's another chapter :D Hope you enjoy it, I love you guys for reading this! I thought nobody would like it :P anyway here you go:**

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 8

"Lucas i can't help you if you won't talk to me." The ageing man's patience was wearing thin. He had been sitting opposite this athletic blonde man for the past half an hour and so far nothing had come out of his mouth except for a hello when they shook hands upon meeting.

"I usually start by having, you say something about yourself. Anything, it can be the smallest of details." He continued trying to get something out of him. His wife had rang a couple of days ago, explaining she didn't know what else to do. He husband had been acting oddly and she needed to know why.

Lucas continued to sit in silence. He didn't want to come here, he had only come because he saw in Peyton's eyes how much he was hurting her. But he didn't want to tell anyone. He wanted,_ needed_, to stay strong.

"Look Lucas, you're paying me whether you talk or not, but the less you tak the more you are going to have to come back..." The man started when Lucas spoke up.

"I was abandoned." He said bluntly looking up at the psychiatrist.

"I don't know what Peyton told you or how much you know about me, but my father didn't want me and left my mom and I. Only to have another baby two months later with another woman who he stayed with." Lucas said. He didn't know why he was bringing this up. He had dealt with Dan. He had buried that feud a long time ago. It wasn't like her still hated Nathan. He just wanted the psychiatrist to stop bugging him and be quiet.

The old man nodded rubbing his hands over his thinning hair. It was almost a silvery colour and his glasses where balenced on the bridge of his nose. He scribbled down a few notes before the silence descended again.

"Your wife said you have been having trouble sleeping, writers block?" He said, usually he wouldn't let a patient know that he had more information than what they themselves had told him, but since Lucas was in Peyton's presence when she mentioned it he thought he should try investigate it.

Lucas nodded. It was true he was having trouble sleeping. He was finding it hard to find inspiration for a third novel. But Lucas decided he would keep to himself how unrelated the two where.

"My father killed my Uncle." Lucas said again changing the subject, he didn't want to talk about what was bothering him now. "You probably heard that, it was a big story. It was at the school shooting a few years back. Peyton, my now wife, nearly bled to death." Lucas was speaking fast he just didn't want to talk about his dreams and flashbacks to Peyton laying there, in a pool of blood. He started to panic as the images came back from their wedding night and now inter-twined with them where ones of Peyton at the school shooting. Why had he brought that looked into the brown eyes of the psychiatrist who was scribbling notes but noticed Lucas' change in demeanor and looked at him.

"Yes i do remember that, you where brave that day. Saving Peyton. It must be hard for you." He started but noticed that Lucas was closing off quickly, their hour was nearly up but he had one final question for Lucas before he left.

"Lucas. Are you happy? With Peyton and Sawyer?" He asked. It wasn't un-common to have people, male or female, to panic at the sudden responsiblity of a child, and an un-planned one at that. And the commitment to a person forever. It happened a lot. People get cold feet, it happened to quickly, they feel they have missed out on life some-how.

Lucas was shocked. He was slightly out-raged that it could even be suggested that he didn't want to be with Peyton and Sawyer. "I'm happy with my life, thank you." Lucas says bluntly, it was his subconscious he was un-happy with.

The older man looked at Lucas. He was sure this problem wasn't as deep rooted as one might think. Sure he had heard about Scott's family history, i mean who hasn't? It was nearly national news when it came out that the Mayor of Tree Hill had killed his brother in cold blood. But if this was going to effect Lucas in anyway it would of happened a long time ago. The man was slightly confused, he knew Lucas was dodging the subject of his sleeps and dreams purposely.

There had been some cases where people develop problems from childhood issues. Such as near-death experiences at a young age. It can play havoc with people's minds. But again Lucas seamed too young for that to be the case, he was only 24.

"Do you keep in contact with your father?" He asked as another silence descends on the room.

"My father is dead." Lucas says. Keith would always be his 'father' no matter what anyone may say to him. The older man let out a little sigh. HE wasn't expecting much just something more form him.

"Okay, Do you keep in contact with Dan Scott? Since being released? Or before maybe?" He asked he wanted Lucas just to open up slighlty

"No." Lucas said bluntly before closing his eyes. He just wanted to leave.

"Well Lucas that's our hour up. Same time next week and maybe we should start talking sooner in the session." The older man said hoping to get a laugh out of Lucas but no such luck. Just as Lucas was opening the door the man stopped him and handed him a leather bound book and a small metallic pen.

"I want you to keep a sleep diary. Write down when you can't sleep, when you think you fell asleep at. When you wake up, if you have any dreams or nightmare's. It might help isolate your problem." He said with a smile.

Lucas took the book and exited the room. He noticed Peyton sleeping on a chair in the reception room. Sawyer was snuggled in her arms burying her head into Peyton's chest. Lucas smiled, he gently nudged her making her wake up.

"Hey Blondie, time to go we need to get Sawyer here to her bed for her nap." He said kissing his girls cheeks. They got up and exited the practise and headed to the car.

"Do you think it will help, Luke? The sessions?" Peyton asked. She had hoped she had done the right thing. Lucas nodded, he wasn't one-hundred percent sure yet but he desperately wanted it too.


	9. Chapter 9

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 9

"So Lucas any improvement?" Haley asked as she was driving Lucas to his appointment. It had been a week since his last visit and he had had 3 more dreams throughout that time. Lucas clutched the black book that the doctor had given him. It contained a quite detailed account of his dreams. The dreams where similar to his original few, him being angry at a little girl. He didn't know what was going on. It was wierd but he felt at least it was slight progress that it was the same dream at least, or was that worse?

"Herm... Not really i mean i've had dreams again but i think it's getting better." He said looking at the book in his hands.

"And what where these dreams about?" Haley asked after a silence, she knew it was a risky to ask but she thought she better, just incase. Lucas went tense and silent. He wasn't ready to tell anybody yet. Haley sighed as she pulled up to the car park of the doctor's office. She had offered to take Lucas this week as Peyton needed to rest and they needed to make sure he went.

Lucas unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door when Haley grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a hug. It was slightly uncomfortable due to them being in a car. She whispered in Lucas' ear, "I just want you to get better." She says. Lucas looked at Haley. She was fighting the tears, they both where. Lucas gave her a small smile before exiting the car and walking through the front door of the Doctor's office.

Haley watched him enter before she broke down. Floods of tears poured out from here. It was as if someone had turned on the tap and it wasn't stopping. Haley grabbed the steering wheel and started shaking herself back and forth, before starting to hit it. Haley calmed down and small wails let out from her mouth. Haley didn't break down often, she had to be strong for Jamie. Plus Nathan's back had toughened her a bit from crumbling. But this was Lucas. Her best friend. She needed him to be okay, she needed him to stay around. Nothing could happen to him. It was always the two of them against the world. How would she cope without him? Haley started to compose herself. She started to breathe more rationally. She started the car again and headed to see Peyton. If this was how she was feeling, how was Peyton to cope?

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office. He had managed to make it that far before he too broke down. He started crying. Haley was always so strong and he had brought her to tears. Lucas felt terrible. He knew that it would upset people when it came out he was having freak outs. He just didn't realise how much. To be honest he only really thought about how it would effect Peyton, in her situation. He was ashamed to admit it but Haley, Nathan and Brooke where sort of a third thought after Sawyer of course. Lucas' eyes where all red and puffy. He continued to cry and he wasn't sure he would stop soon.

"Lucas Scott?" The receptionist called out and Lucas stood up and entered the doctor's room.

He sat down opposite the doctor, his named failed Lucas. He was writing down something and hadn't looked at Lucas yet. A little sniffle that Lucas let out brought the Doctor's attention. He noticed Lucas' red eyes and nose. "Luc.." he started before Lucas started talking

"My best friend Haley, dropped me off today. The drive was relaxing and we chatted about things. Other things." Lucas said he was ready to tell all to the doctor. "And well, we got to the parking lot and she said 'I just want you to get better.'" Lucas said crying again

"It's okay take your time." The doctor said, glad that Lucas wanted to talk this time.

"Well that's when it hit me, by bottling this up i've effected more people than i thought it would. And Haley. She is the greatest she wouldn't hurt a fly even if bit her. She's strong and fierce too. It broke me to see that i had broken her. I haven't seen her like that since Nathan, her husband, my brother, had his accident. He got some glass stuck in his back on the spinal nerves, he's in the NBA now but it was a huge blow when it happened. That's when Haley got tougher and stronger. She just wasn't going to let it hurt Jamie, my nephew. An it hurts me to think i broke that down." Lucas said sobbing.

The doctor didn't write anything down. He studied Lucas' face. Watched the way he was moving and his actions.

"Well maybe it's time to talk about your problems then?" He asked, to his surprised Lucas gave a little nod. Lucas handed the doctor his diary/book thing for him to examine.

"It started about seven, eight weeks ago. It was just little visions before that, but the proper nightmares. It was hard. They where about me hating my daughter. I don't hate her. I love Sawyer, but in my dreams she is not Sawyer. She is this other girl but still my daughter. And...and.. I don't understand why they are happening." Lucas said

"Well what happened in your life that made you have these 'visions'." The doctor asked. But Lucas didn't respond. He closed up and didn't say another word. He wasn't ready to spill everything. He just sat on the chair and sobbed. The doctor tried to engaged him but nothing happened. The rest of the session was filled with silence with the occasional sob.

The time was nearly up when Lucas said one thing, "I nearly killed her." was all he said. He got up and left the doctor's office. The doctor wrote that down but he was confused. Who? Sawyer? Haley? Peyton? The doctor needed more.

**Author's note - Really is that 20 reviews?! Thanks guys :D Yes i know i am a big weirdo getting excited about 20 reviews but as my first story i am well chuffed :) But yes i love you all and i hope you like this one :) Sorry if i made you cry in any of the chapters but that's really, i don't know, comforting that it had an effect on you i dunno!**


	10. Chapter 10

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 10

Lucas bounced Sawyer on his knee, whilst rocking back and forth on the chair in her room. Today was good day, he hadn't had a dream since his last doctor's meeting and that was nearly three days ago now. Lucas felt happy, he knew he wasn't cured but at least he was getting there. Peyton appeared in the doorway with a worried look on her face. She was being extra cautious around Lucas these past few days. His doctor had rung her quite soon after Lucas left just to keep her up to date seeing as she couldn't make it to the appointment herself. She was scared that Lucas could hate there daughter, even in his subconscious. It frightened her. But as she looked at the man she loved holding the girl she adored she couldn't help but smile. This was their little family and Peyton wouldn't have it any other way. She kept quiet as she didn't want to disturb Lucas she just watched him interact with Sawyer. She smiled, and her worries disappeared, of course Lucas wouldn't hate Sawyer. She looked at Lucas' eyes that where transfixed on on Sawyer moving and only saw love and are in them. The peaceful and beautiful sight of father and daughter was disturbed by Lucas himself.

"Hmm Sawyer? Did you make a little smelly mess? did you?!" he says to her but all she does is sit there smiling at him the smell had reached Peyton now and it was official, Sawyer needed a new diaper. . Lucas stood up and walked to the changing mat to see no fresh diapers around.

"PEYTON." He shouted thinking she was in the other room.

"What!?" She half yelled from the doorway to give Lucas a fright, which made her giggle.

"You scared me! Where are the clean diapers?" He asked removing Sawyer's dirty one and cleaning her up. Peyton laughed as she opened a closet door in Sawyer's room to see and extra-large value pack of diapers. She took one and gave it to Lucas.

"You'd be lost without me!" She teased giving him a kiss on the cheek before blowing raspberries on Sawyer's stomach causing her to laugh.

"Yeah you're right!" Lucas said chuckling. Once Sawyer was all cleaned up she was put down for a nap. Peyton and Lucas Sat in the livingroom and curled up next to each other. Nothing was spoken, it didn't have to be they where both worried for each other about recent events. They sat there and held each other for a while before Lucas said

"It's going to be fine Peyton, I'm going to get better." He says kissing her on the head and then snuggling down for an afternoon nap of their own.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Nathan ran up the edge of the River-court with Lucas hot on his tail, before he jumped up and dunked the basket.  
"Yeah, that's a game Lucas." He said as sweat dripped down his forehead. Lucas smiled and coughed. he hadn't done to much exercise since Sawyer was born. Nathan went over to the stands and lifted his drink and took a large gulp. Lucas sat down beside him breathing deeply.

"I could sure beat you know on a one-on-one re-match!" Nathan said laughing, Lucas chuckled.

"Yeah. Hey, good game last weekend, shame you lost though, you almost had them." Lucas said. He was proud of his brother, glad that one of there basketball dreams had come true. Nathan looked at Lucas.

"Yeah, well the Washington Wizards are undefeated this year, so far. It wasn't like it was a huge shock." Lucas nodded as he took a drink.

"Did you ever get your agent sorted?" Lucas asked, he hadn't really spoken to Nathan since that night, if you exclude his intervention. Lucas had been too wrapped up in his own problems to really care about anyone else. But since Haley getting emotional at dropping him off at his appointment a few days ago, Lucas had decided to start becoming more involved and aware of his friends lives again.

"Oh, yeah, we went with Clay Evans. It was the right choice, he's already got me at the Bobcats for another eighteen months. And Lucas he's such a good guy, you should hang out with him at some point, I'm sure you'd get on great." Nathan said.

"Ha thanks, but i already have a wife, Nathan, I don't need setting up with anyone!" Lucas joked, causing Nathan to shove him with his shoulder.

There was a question burning inside Nathan. He needed to ask Lucas. He was really worried about him, especially since his last visit. Haley came home after visiting Peyton with red cheeks, nose and eyes. She told Nathan how she broke down in the car after dropping Lucas off. All he could do was hold her, it was then that he needed to know if these sessions where working. He didn't like seeing what it had done to Lucas and Peyton's lives. But it torn Nathan up inside seeing what it had done to Haley, He hated seeing her so upset.

"So.. ermm... Lucas.." Nathan started, he didn't know how exactly he was going to ask him. Lucas knew this was coming, he knew when Nathan asked him to come to the River-Court for a match.

"It's okay Nate." Lucas said reassuringly. "I'm getting better. I haven't had anymore wierd dreams since before my last visit and I feel better. I'm not 'cured' but i think i'm on my way." He said hoping that answered Nathan's question. There was still one that pondered on Nathan's mind. In fact it was on everyone's mind, Nathan decided it was time to say it.

"So.. when did they start? What set them off?" Nathan asked. Lucas was shocked. He was surprised that finally someone had asked him. He just thought it would of been Brooke, on be-half of Peyton, or maybe Haley. Lucas coughed nervously. He had a good idea of what set them all off. They sort-of started a few weeks after his wedding day. He didn't want to say it in case he was wrong, or maybe that would make it true. It was probably the latter.

"I dunno, Nate. But trust me I'm trying to find out" Lucas said standing up and grabbing the basketball. "Fancy a re-match then?" Lucas said. Nathan smiled as he stood up. Soon the Scott brothers where in full swing again of another Basketball Match.


	11. Chapter 11

Flashback to an Alternate universe - Chapter 11

The cool air wrapped around Lucas' face. It was Christmas time in Tree Hill, and although snow was never going to fall, the cool air was prominent. Lucas walked past the River-Court which looked magical with the thin layer of frost over the ground. The bags which Lucas' was carrying where, bulging with presents and food. Though the look on his face would not represent someone who was excited for christmas. Lucas had a deep frown on his face. He didn't like christmas, not anymore. HE had always participated in giving presents to his family and friends, but his heart was never in it. Christmas marked the closing of the year. Another year without her. And the start of another. Another year without her. Lucas didn't think he could manage year after year of smiling and happy-clappy with people. He just wanted to disappear. He entered opened the front door to his house. Inside showed no christmas preparations. It was cold and empty with very little furniture. Lucas' dumped his bags at the door, he glanced at a picture of Peyton he had on the side-table. NExt to it was her drawing "Nice hands, NIce Legs." Lucas let a small smile crawl across his lips.

"Merry Christmas Peyt." He said as he walked towards his room. He wasn't going to let, even picture Peyton, see him cry. Though something caught his attention on the way to his room. The spare room door was a jar, the wind must of blown it open. Lucas nudged the door open and held his breath. He hadn't looked in this room in over eight months. Everything was still the same as he had made it two years ago, for their baby. The baby that never came. The baby that died shortly before Peyton did. The little basketball hoop still hung above the crib. The rocking chair sat in the corner next to the window. Lucas stepped inside. He let his breath go as he wandered around his baby's room. Tears came to his eyes as he looked around his 'surprise' for Payton. He remembered that day so clearly. It was also the day he found out she may die, or in his case, did. He noticed the clothes on the changing table. The clothes that have never been worn. Tears streamed down his face as he lifted up the one that says "I love Mommy." He quickly put it down before noticing one hanging off the knob to one of the draws. "Team Peyton." It had written across it. He smiled, it was a present from Haley, back when Peyton was still here. as he turned out of the room he saw tucked under the crib Peyton's 'Just in Case' box. He hadn't looked at it since that time with Jamie. He slowly slides the box out from underneath the crib and lifted it through to the living room. He opened the lid and a smell that was so distinctively Peyton filled Lucas' nostrils, it made him smile so broadly. It was as if she was still here. He looked at all of her pictures she had left for their child to enjoy. He laughed at the pictures of Brooke and Peyton's childhood. It was then he saw a video tape at the bottom of the box. The video he had interrupted her ending. Lucas' shakily lifted it out and placed it in the VCR. He pressed play and after a couple of fuzzy seconds Peyton appeared on the screen. Lucas smiled then cried, before looking at he again. She looked so happy and joyful. It was Peyton.

"Hey baby. It's me Mom, Momma. I know you probably had loads of questions about where i am and it's been hard for your father to answer them. But hopefully you won't have to watch this, but, Just in case. Here's all my love and my wisdom, that i am so sorry that i won't be able to give to you in person," Peyton says with a smile.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas had tears rolling down his cheeks. Some from laughter, others from sadness. He loved Peyton everything about her. He was just about to stop the tape when Peyton started speaking again.

"I really hope we get to share these things together. But just in case it's all right here. Now there is one thing i need from you."  
This made Lucas look up at her, she suddenly looked sad, which broke his heart.

"Please, take very special care of your father." She said holding back the tears. " Because if i'm not around he's going to need you to take care of him, just like my dad needed me. So love him. Take care of him. And be kind to him. Please, just, do that for me." She says nearly breaking down. Lucas is in floods of tears. He can't hold them in any longer. It was then he heard his own voice.

"Peyton what is this?" A cold shiver went down his spine, he sounded so cold

"I just thought i should." She says looking up at him out of camera.

"No... You said everything was going to be okay." he hears himself say as his green hoodie comes into frame lifting up the box.  
"You said." He whispered.

"I know, but i just want our child to remember me." Peyton says, which her voice sounds scared and frightened. She stands up and walks over to him .

"Our child isn't going to have to remember you. Our child is going to know you. we're not doing this Peyton." He says so coldly almost as if he doesn't see how scared she was.

"Lucas..?" She says shocked at how blunt he is being. Lucas stares at the screen, he can't believe how blunt he was he was with her, in there final few days together.

"A death video a sad box of stuff? I'm not having any of this Peyton.I mean what's next?" He says getting angrier at her.

"I wanna get married, like now." She says with so much joy in her voice it makes Lucas smile

"Absolutely not. You're supposed to be taking it easy. Once you have had this baby, and you are all better, then, then we will get married." HE says.

And for reasons now Lucas can't think of why he would deny Peyton that. Sure he agreed in the end but he why not right away.

"I wanna get married."

"WHY? Why is it so important to do it now?"

"BECAUSE!"

"I'm not doing anything just in case. Okay?" Lucas says. It was only now when he watched it back he heard how much, he hurt Peyton, by saying no to her.

"I'll be in the garage. You should be in bed."

Lucas was sobbing he couldn't believe he was so mean to her it was then he heard something he never really wanted to hear.  
"Thank you. I love you too by the way." Lucas sobbed he saw a teary eyed Peyton enter frame and soon the screen went blank.  
He sat on the floor and sobbed he couldn't contain it anymore. He wanted to take that back he just wanted to take that pain away from Peyton.

He stood up and quickly left the house. It was as if he was in a trance. He closed the door behind him. He just kept walking, forgetting all keys and coats. He kept walking, and he went to the all familiar graveyard and walked to Peyton's grave. He knelt down in front of it and sobbed.  
"I'm so sorry Peyton, I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't know it then but if i knew that would be one of our last days together i never would of said those things to you i would just done what you wanted. I love you Peyton i really do." Lucas sobbed and curled up into a ball on the cold concrete floor.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas woke up crying. His pillow was damp, fortunately he was quietly sobbing so Peyton slept beautifully beside him. Lucas sat up in his bed and switched on his bed-side lamp. He reached for the black leather book and wrote down his dream while he could still remember it. It certainly wasn't as harsh as before ones but it was more, believable, well in Lucas' mind it was. He just wanted everything to stop. He needed it too.

**Author's Note - Okay i'm sorry about Lucas having another dream but recovery has relapses and stuff. Sadly this story is coming to a close, I'd say about five left. I know this story is quite short but i really don't think it can go anywhere else, then after Lucas' recovery. anyway love to you and see you next week :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Flashback to an Alternate universe - Chapter 12

Lucas and Peyton sat quietly in the waiting room of the doctor's office. They held hands tightly and where turned into each other. Lucas clutched his book with his left hand and the thumb of his right drew little circles on the back of Peyton's hand. She lent her head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. His baggy grey sweater, reminded her of his old Keith Body Shop one. Lucas stared off into the distance until he felt Peyton's head on his should. He placed his own on top of hers, closed his eyes and smiled. He had, had a total of 2 dreams and one sleepless night in the past week. The dreams not to dissimilar. They weren't as graphic as before. He was going to get better. He decided two nights ago that this session was going to be his turning point. Peyton breathed softly, which help calm him. The waiting room was a burnt orange colour walls with a cream carpet. It was plain. Lucas hadn't really noticed before he had been to busy thinking. But for the first time in weeks Lucas could finally feel his thoughts receding. Lucas kissed Peyton's forehead which made her smile. The waiting room was empty, it was usual for it them to be the only ones there. A shaken old lady exited the doctor's office. Her cheeks where wet and her eyes where red. But she had a smile on her face, which gave Lucas hope. He gave her a polite nod, which she returned and smiled at Peyton who looked like she was sleeping on his shoulder, though she was just thinking. Suddenly Lucas heard his name.

" ? We are ready for you know." the twenty-year old receptionist says. Peyton's head lifted from his shoulder and she slowly let go of his hand. Lucas turned to face her and gave her a kiss. He put so much passion into that she nearly forgot where she was. When he let her go she knew what that kiss ment. It ment everything was going to be better. Lucas stood up and went in to the Doctor's office.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Well Lucas only two dreams that's a good sign and from what you have described them as they are getting better, not as shocking. Now you have been coming here for three weeks know and you have made tremendous progress. Which is good but also worrying. I just want to make sure that you are not rushing your recovery." The doctor said, Lucas nodded he knew what he ment, Lucas was about to respond when the Doctor started up again.

"That being said,I feel i have an idea of what may be causing your dreams. Now all of your dreams involve Peyton either dying, or being already dead. Also you resent your daughter. Now from what you have told me and from, and usually this doesn't apply, but Tree Hill history. Peyton has had many near death experiences, what with, the school shooting and the physco..."

"Physco?" Lucas asked. He hadn't told him that and it wasn't common knowledge to people. "How do you know about that?"

"Well.. Peyton told me, she came in the day before you did and told me a few things about your past and hers and yours together."  
Lucas nodded.

"Kno.." He started again but this time Lucas interrupted him

"I know when they started and why. You see it is true that Peyton and I haven't had the easiest of relationships but it was after our wedding day they started. You se, Peyton had complications with her pregnancy she has a condition called placenta previa. It means that she could have died during pregnancy or during labour and lost the baby too. Know thankfully she was alright but she collapsed on our wedding day and... and .." Lucas said starting to sob.

"I .. thought.. i was going to lose.. her." He said breaking down.

"I mean i just can't lose her. Sawyer too. They both mean too much. But how come i nearly did. I...mean.. what ... would i have...done?" He said with floods of tears coming out.

"That's.. when they started... about a month later... ." Lucas continued to cry. The doctor looked at him intently before realising that this was Lucas Scott's break down. His first time admitting what and why he was wrong. He handed him a box of tissues. Lucas clutched the box with both hands.

"Well done Lucas. That took strength and guts and i am glad it is out."

"Me too."

The doctor smiled.

"Well now that we have pinpointed your problem maybe know we can start to deal with it. Know i want you to see me again next week and then after that we might extend it to two weeks apart depending on how this week goes. Now keep your sleep diary going and talk to Peyton. Explain to her what is happening." The doctor said to Lucas. He stood up.

"Stay here a bit longer Luke get yourself together, I'll wait for you out side." He said exiting the room, leaving Lucas to finish crying and get himself together.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Mrs. Scott, your husband is suffering from a type of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." The doctor said to Peyton who immediately stood up when the door was opened. She looked confused.

"You see he hasn't dealt with the fact that you and Sawyer nearly died on your wedding day." Peyton suddenly felt so stupid. She had never thought of that because he seamed so strong for her. She started to cry. Just then Lucas came out of the door and she instantly wrapped her arms around him and she cried into his shoulder. Lucas snuggled into her neck.

"C'mon Peyton lets go home." Lucas says as he guides Peyton out of the doctor's office.


	13. Chapter 13

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 13

Peyton open the door which led in to the kitchen and placed the keys on the side. Lucas followed in behind her. Her eyes where wet from tears while his where blood-shot from rubbing them with his hands. The car journey back had been a silent one filled only with the sound off sniffles. After leaving the doctor's office they sat in the car for ten minutes, just in silence as they held each other. Sawyer was still with Brooke's and the house had an unusuall silence. Peyton took a seat at the table and just stared at the wall opposite her. Lucas didn't know what to do. He started doing the dishes, it helped him think.

"Stop it,." Peyton says quietly. She didn't want him to do anything. They Needed to talk. Lucas continued to do the dishes, he was thinking he needed to think.

"Stop Lucas, stop." She says getting angrier. Lucas didn't stop he kept washing the same black plate. Peyton stood and snatched the plate from his hand causing it to slip and drop to the floor and smash into 6 or 7 pieces. Lucas bent down to pick them up.

"Lucas will you just leave it!" Peyton shouts. "We need to tal.. Lucas your bleeding." She says noticing a large cut running along Lucas' palm to his wrist. Blood was dripping out of it at a steady rate. Peyton went into panic mode.

"Right Luke, sit here. Know bandage where are they? Lucas where do i keep the damn bandages in this house?" She says stood up and reached for the bandage which in the hall drawer. He handed them to Peyton who smiled and placed one on Lucas' cut and kissed it. While she still had his hand she walked him to the living room and made him sit down and she sat down next to him.

"Lucas, why didn't you just tell me?" Peyton said, looking into his deep blue eyes. Lucas didn't know what to to tell her.

"I didn't want to worry you.." Lucas said. That seamed a reasonable response. Though to Peyton it wasn't.

"You didn't want to worry me. Right okay. So instead of saying, 'Hey Peyton look i had this really wierd dream last night that you had died and i was alone, and its been happening for a while.' YOU decided 'nah, i'll keep it to myself until i nearly my wife and family sick with worry and upset!' Good job Lucas." She says. She was annoyed for not being told she was beyond just being upset. Lucas just sat there and nodded.

"You're right i should have told you but i thought it was for the best." He said reaching for her hand. She soften at his touch, that could be more of a pain then a help sometimes. she looked at him.

"I know baby, but you should tell me these things. Could you imagine if I was doing this to you? We are married Lucas we have to honest and open with each other." Peyton was softening, she took her free hand and stroked his jaw line with her thumb. He looked into her green eyes and finally saw all the hurt that was there.

"Peyton I am so sorry." He says planting a kiss on her lips.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Sawyer whimpered as Lucas cradled her in his arms. Brooke had just dropped her back and felt the tension in the room and quickly had just told Peyton about his dreams before Brooke interrupted them. Sawyer continued to gurgle as Lucas walked back from the door to the couch. Peyton sat staring into space, she glanced at Lucas holding Sawyer and smiled.

"Luke?" She said making him look at her.

"Why would you think you'd be a bad dad? You are one of the best i know. You learnt from the best." She said with a small smile.

Lucas thought about this for a while, Sawyer grabbed his little finger and started sucking on it, Lucas looked at his little girl, who's green eyes where starting to take shape.

"I guess i thought i couldn't go on without out you, which i couldn't Peyton, but i felt i would just take it out on the person who took you away." He said honestly.

Peyton stood up and wrapped her arms around Lucas, making Sawyer the center of the hug.

"You are an amazing Dad Lucas Scott and you would've been great even if i wasn't here."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas looked around the room, he had invited round Brooke, Nathan and Haley round to tell them all about his dreams. Nathan and Haley where sitting on his couch, waiting for Brooke to come round. Just then Brooke burst through the door, wearing a huge smile. She saw Peyton clutching Sawyer in the Kitchen and ran down to her.

"Peyton! I did what you said and went to Julian in LA and well we are going to give it ago! Everything seams alright know that nothing can go.." Brooke says just noticing Peyton's saddened look "Wrong.. Peyton?" It was then that Brooke noticed the Scott's sitting around in the living room. she walked back to the living room.

"What's going on guys?"

"Sit down Brooke i need to tell you all something." Lucas started "As you all know i have been having these dreams and well i am finally ready to tell people about it." He looked to Peyton who had walked up to the living room who gave him and reasuring nod.

"Well, i had been dreaming about Peyton dying on our wedding day and well my life without her." A little gasp escaped Brooke's lips.

"Well i've just had a hard time with the fact that i almost killed her." Haley looked confused.

"You know if i hadn't gotten her pregnant she wouldn't of nearly died. Look I just wanted to say i am sorry for not letting you in and i am so sorry for taking out all of you" He said breaking down causing them all to huddle around him in support.

"it's okay Lucas." Haley said

**RE-Author's note - Sorry it is a bit short, its been a busy week with exam results and family things :) Hopefully a new chapter on Monday.**

**Okay so i decieded that i was unhappy with the chapter i posted on Friday and it needed a bit extra adding on to it! So here it is :P**


	14. Chapter 14

Flashback to an alternate universe - Chapter 14

**Authors note - Just a little reminder i added an extra bit to chapter 13 on Sunday so check it out :)**

"So Lucas how have you been feeling this past week." The Doctor asked, he already knew the answer. Lucas was wearing a smile across his face, he had never done that before to one of his sessions.

"I'm good. Like the best i felt in a long time." Lucas said honestly.

It was probably the day he heard Sawyer's heartbeat was the last time he remembered feeling this happy and good. Sure he was happy on his wedding day but there was always that nagging feeling that Peyton might not make it. Lucas fiddled with the cuffs on his shirt, he wanted to leave so he could kiss and hold his baby girl, but he still had another fifty-five minutes to go. The doctor flicked through the leather-bound book and noticed something rather odd.

"Lucas..? You've written here that you couldn't sleep one night but yet you told me when you came in that nothing had happened?" Lucas was confused he didn't remember not being able to sleep. As soon as he had told everyone he was fine again, no more dreams no more sleepless nights, or so he thought.

"Yes three days ago according to this. Did something happen over the weekend? Anything that might have led to you not remembering?"  
Lucas racked his brain. Nothing was coming to mind. He told everyone a few days before then. He struggled to find out what was bothering him when suddenly he remembered, as if someone had turned on a light.

"Sunday was the anniversary of Dan Scott going to prison. He should be still in there for his sixth year. I guess it must of woken me up and i just don't remember it." Lucas said angrily, he still couldn't believe Dan Scott was walking free.

The doctor nodded and made a few quick notes before they started discussing other things.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas relaxed on his bed with Sawyer laying beside him. He tickled her stomach causing her to gurgle. Peyton was at Red Bedroom so Lucas was home alone, and thinking of Dan. He still couldn't believe he was free and he had the nerve to come round to see his daughter. It made Lucas sick that he was even a part of Jamie's life. As the day wore on Lucas; thoughts seamed to always edge their way back to Dan Scott and all he had done for Lucas. He could only really think of a couple of things, which after nearly 15 years wasn't much. Lucas was in the middle of changing Sawyer when the door bell rang.

"One second!" He yelled as he finshed with Sawyer and lifted her on to his hip and walked to the door to see Jamie standing there.

"Hey Jamie, where's your mom and dad?" He asked as the six year old walked into the house.

"Momma said that you where sad so i've come to cheer you up." Jamie says with such innocence it nearly broke Lucas' heart. As the boys sat down on the couch Lucas balanced Sawyer on his knee.

"Are you sad about Q? Cause i get sad about him, but then i remember he is playing basketball in heaven so i know he is happy."  
Lucas smiled, he didn't really know how to tell Jamie this.

"No buddy, it wasn't about Q. I mean it was sad and i am still sad that he is gone but that's not the reason why i was sad this time."  
"They, why?" Jamie asked looking up at his uncle.

Lucas sighed, " Well you see you know how your aunt Peyton was in hospital after she had Sawyer?"

"Yeah." Jamie said as he tickled Sawyer's feet.

"Well the doctor's thought she might be going to join Q, and well i got upset that she would be gone too." Lucas said hoping that would be enough for the little boy.

"But she didn't so why are you sad now?"

"Well i just kept thinking, what if she had." Lucas said. Jamie was about to ask another question when the phone rang. Lucas picked it up to hear a panicked Haley on the other end.

"Lucas, Okay Jamie isn't in his room or at the pool, And Brooke hasn't seen him. Please god let him be with you." Haley says too quickly for Lucas to explain.

"Yes, Hales he is right here." He says giving Jamie a look.

"Oh thank god, okay Nathan will be round to pick him up now, thanks Luke. Bye."

"Bye Hales." Lucas said hanging up before turning to Jamie.

"James Lucas Scott did you leave without permission?" Lucas said sternly. Jamie looked at the ground.

"No i told Nanny Deb that i wanted to see you and she said we could, so i came down. I didn't realise that she ment later." Jamie said nearly crying. Lucas put Sawyer in her rocker and knelt down beside Jamie.

"Hey, J-Luke. It's okay don;t cry just make sure that you tell someone where you are going and when. And make sure someone is with you too."

"Is momma mad?"

"No, just worried." Lucas said pulling Jamie in for a hug.

Jamie then whispers to Lucas. "I love you uncle Lucas."

"I love you too buddy."

Just then Peyton comes in and beams at the sight that greets her in the living smiles at Lucas before going into the kitchen to make the dinner.

**Authors note - So some little cute Jamie stuff for you :) **


	15. Chapter 15

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 15

**Author's Note: Okay I know it has been a while since my last update and i do apologise for that, but it happened for mainly two reasons. One, school has gotten a lot busier after school and stuff so i was finding it hard to post two chapters a week with the time restraints that i was having. Two, and more importantly ( I think), I felt as if i was producing, for no finer word, shitty chapters to you loyal readers because i felt i had to produce chapter regularly. I know it was a bit silly of me but i felt the story was taking shorter chapters with not much in them just so i could say i had updated. So I took these two weeks off to help plan a better chapter and to distance myself from the crap chapters. Now i may not be updating every week, but i will too. Unfortunately it probably won't go back to twice a week again, that was really only feasible during the summer holiday. Any way i hope you still are interested in the story and understand that the chapters won't be as frequent. On to the story! :)**

Lucas lifted his head from his pillow at the sound of his baby girl crying. He kicked of his covers and pulled a black tee-shirt over his bare chest before trudging into his daughter's room. He lifted her out of her cot and carried her to the rocking char and sat down and began to gently sway back and forth.

"Shhh.. Daddy's here." Lucas hushes to her, as she suckles on his little finger. Lucas smiled just as the sun rose on Tree Hill lightening up the room. He smiled as he snuggled into his daughter and he was drifting into a light snooze when her wails screamed through the house.  
"Okay, Elizabeth, let's get you fed." He says twisting her single blonde curl around his finger.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas wheeled the pram (Stroller) to a familiar gravestone, he positioned it to face it as he knelt down in front of it.

"Hey, Peyton, us again! Elizabeth just can't keep away from you. Nothing much new has happened since we spoke to you yesterday. Peyton our baby girl is doing so well. She is nearly six months now, can you believe it?! She discovered her fingers last week, as we said but this morning she nearly found my keys, God know where she would have put them!." Lucas said laughing.

"I'm doing a good job aren't i Peyton. I mean i think i am but i feel if you where here she'd be better, please Peyton just give me a sign that I am handling this fine." He said a tears began to fall then just louder than a whisper he said

"I wish you weren't dead."

And with that he stood up kissed the head of the gravestone "See you tomorrow, Peyton." He slowly pushed the pram (Stroller) down the path and the suddenly out of no-where a large gust of wind came from Lucas' right hand side, he turned to look at what had caused the gust of wind. Through the tree's the suns rays landed on two birds. One teaching their child how to fly. Lucas stopped a stared at it, the baby bird tried a few times a failed but on its final attempted flew higher and higher than it's parent. Lucas smiled a turned to face the back of Peyton's grave stone and mouthed

"Thank You"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas woke up to hear Peyton yelling down the phone.

"I want to know who you are calling for? ... Yes well maybe it's time to find a more reliable source than the NATIONAL INFORMER!" she yelled a she threw her mobile across the room and screamed into her pillow. Lucas reached across beside him and held her hand which made her hit him with the pillow.

"Humph" Lucas muffled as his face collided with the pillow.

"Oh Lucas i am so sorry you scared me and I'm just so angry." She groaned. Lucas pulled the pillow down and rested it over his lap as he sat up in the bed.

"I gathered that, whats up?" Lucas asked

"Urgh, some sleazy reporter making up rumours that Mia has become a home-wrecker and is now is pregnant. Just showbiz stuff, did you sleep okay?" Peyton said calming down and smiling at her husband.

"Look at me, married to a showbiz person!" Lucas said chuckling to himself "I slept..." just then Sawyer's crys rang through the monitor and Peyton was out of the room to attended to her before Lucas could finish his sentence.

"Oddly." he said remembering his dream.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

I just don't get it Doc, i thought i was cured i mean i admitted my problem, and wa getting more sleep. Why have i had another dream, i mean is there something wrong with me?" Lucas said pacing the Doctors office.

"Well Lucas, it's perfectly natural for people to relapse into their habits, it doesn't mean you're not getting better, sit down please." he said ans Lucas took his seat by the door.

"Now from what you told me this dream sounds a lot light-hearted than previous ones. This is good.."

"Good? GOOD? It's good that i dreamt again that my wife was dead? You think that's good?" Lucas said getting angry

"No of course not but the dream was happier than others, there was no yelling, not hatred. It was almost like it was the real you in the dream than this crazy hating one in previous one."

Lucas began to ease he knew where he was coming from.

"Now Lucas, i want to see you next week and see how you getting on. Keep the diary going and also i want you to try something. I want you to talk to someone. Not Peyton or Haley or Nathan or Brooke but someone who maybe you don't see a lot or who won't judge you and tell them your situation. Like maybe your mother, aunt, uncle. Someone who can be understanding but not someone who has seen you during the darkest parts. Do you understand?"

Lucas did, well sort of he had an idea of what he wanted him to do. And Lucas already knew who he would talk to.

**Author's note - there a slightly longer chapter for the long wait hope you like it :)**


	16. Chapter 16

Flashback to an Alternate Universe - Chapter 16

**Previously: **

**"Now Lucas, i want to see you next week and see how you getting on. Keep the diary going and also i want you to try something. I want you to talk to someone. Not Peyton or Haley or Nathan or Brooke but someone who maybe you don't see a lot or who won't judge you and tell them your situation. Like maybe your mother, aunt, uncle. Someone who can be understanding but not someone who has seen you during the darkest parts. Do you understand?"**

**Lucas did, well sort of he had an idea of what he wanted him to do. And Lucas already knew who he would talk to.**

**And Now :**

Lucas made himself comfortable sitting on the grass as he looked up at the tomb stone.

"Hey Keith" he said with a smile, "How have you been?!" he said Keith couldn't talk back but Lucas thought that was what he needed just someone to vent to without being analysed or questioned just someone who he new would understand.

"I've had a rough few months to be honest. It all started on my wedding day, Peyton was nearly having our honeymoon with you Keith " He said, he didn't like saying 'Peyton nearly died.'

"But I had these dreams since she returned home with your great niece, that she kept dying or life without her and things. And i know you know what i mean cause, you went without my mom for years, but she was there I just need some sign that it'll get better Keith. I mean nothing major like before just something... please" He said bowing his head down.

Just then a ball hit Lucas' thigh as a little girl no older than four was running over too him. Lucas picked up the ball and handed it to her to which she returned with a smile. A smile that reminded Lucas of someone, It reminded him of Keith. Lucas looked down at the tombstone "Now your just showing off" he said jokingly. Lucas new he wasn't alone and the Keith was there for him no matter what

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Peyton" Lucas called through the house. He was carrying flowers with a big grin. Peyton walked into the kitchen looking extremely tired. She looked at Lucas and the flowers and had a confused.

"Lucas? What did you do?" She asked as she got handed the flowers and a kiss.

"Nothing i just feel better today, i spoke to Keith and it's going to be better from now on Peyton. From now on it's you and Sawyer above everything else." He said grinning. Peyton still looked confused at her husband but decided not to dampen his spirit.

"Okay good I'm glad."

"Where is my little girl anyway?

"Sleeping, like i should be just nothing is ever clean any more if it's not in here its our room or Sawyer's and then she wakes up and needs feeding then Mia calls with some crises that Haley can't able to deal with." Peyton said ranting. Lucas placed his hand on her shoulders.

"Okay first breathe, second go lie down, it's daddy's turn to something than sulking around the house about not getting a another book going! Go." He said before Peyton could object. He pushed her out the door and then turned to see the mess in the kitchen, he sighed.

"Let's get started."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lucas had finished cleaning but Peyton and Sawyer were still sleeping, Lucas then opened his laptop and open a fresh document. The cursor blinked at him as he stared at it. Lucas thought about how his life had been in the past year and how so much had changed. It made him think of writing something about that but not sure what. He didn't want to make a self help book but he liked writing about his experiences. Suddenly Lucas had a brain wave, he could write about Keith. Not Keith but someone who had died suddenly and what there heaven would be like. If he would have regrets, or would he mess with the living? Lucas smiled as he started typing for what felt like forever.

**Author's note : Okay I am so sorry i promised more updates and i didn't deliver and i am so sorry but I had writers block, and school has been hectic like all year so i didn't know my right from left half the time! I haven't forgotten about this story. I did think about coming back earlier but i lost my drive for the story. But with everything i am back (hopefully) and i might have another chapter out soon! Plus I love all you guys for sticking with me and stuff it really means a lot. I might start another story when this one finishes, which sadly will be soon as Lucas is getting better let me know! But bye for now xx**


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